So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
