i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
