FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize