You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
