arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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