turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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