It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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