Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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