Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
