Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
