Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
