so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
