Hey man sorry I got all grabby
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
