You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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