Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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