i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
