everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize