You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
