Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Help me help you realize you are a moron
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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