i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize