He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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