No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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