I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
