Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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