My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
