ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
