This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
