As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
