Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
COCAINE IS GR8
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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