me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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