DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
