Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize