oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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