Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize