I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
