obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
