Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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