Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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