i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
