im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
