Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
