it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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