normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
