There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
