yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
