Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
