we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
