I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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