I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
