I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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