Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
