All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
