Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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