There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
