speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
