So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
