My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
